Yeah I'm starting to admit perhaps I AM a masochist... seems like I can NEVER say no to buns! There's always one in the oven! I loathe not getting enough time, not enough rest, too much work yet I KEEP TAKING ON stuff! STRESS more like it...! But you know what, in the end, I always get my fucking shit together by hook or by crook.
Justly masochistic, I do love being pushed to the deep end. HAH! Because I know I can swim. In fact, what I love is the intensity. Because this is how I get better, all the time. So I think only of the reward at the end - the hot bun at the jetty, waiting for me.
So let's talk about my BUNS. Here I have 'in the oven' a grrrr8TV show coming on air from March 31st on Wednesdays at 9.30pm - I'm having far too much fun than I deserve, being a DIVA in this Hah!
Then there's my new 21-room boutique hotel in KL waiting to pop out of the oven too (the ingredients are in and the recipe is definitely right) and finally the next best of the best thing - my very own pole dance studio!!! Which is materializing sooner than I could believe...It's ready to launch in May!!!
YES! FINALLY, many say;) NEVER THOUGHT OF IT, I say. It's true, having my own dance studio has never crossed my mind, strangely I know... until this real chance came. Really... this morning I did a live interview with BFM radio for International Women's Day and Frida (the presenter) asked me if it's sheer hard work that got me to where I am today or is it being at the right place at the right time? Although I always had to work so freakin' hard for everything I want, however I think sometimes, TIMING is everything. And Bobbi agrees. She told me herself. Wanna know who Bobbi is? Watch HER transformation into a different animal :D
Get it? That's Bobbi! My idol-turned-personal friend-turned-business-partner!!!! Look, how many stand a chance like this huh....to be 'married' to that one you watch, get inspired by, dream about and drool over only on TV. Yeah CHANCE. TIMING. She's ready to do this and I'm ready to let her turn my world upside down, what the hell. HELL YEAH! This is exactly my point, first there's the chance of a lifetime but you've got to recognize it and seize it, then comes the hard work. Or you'll lose your bun.
I also mentioned the issue of discipline to Frida at the interview. Which without, I think I'll still be kneading dough. It's funny how I can never be satisfied with myself... who did I get this from??! I'm always so fired up by this undying urge to constantly be better than myself - an obsessive torture from the masochist herself... me against my own music; For instance, I must be fitter than I was last month, I must be smarter than I was that last time, I must look better than I did last week, I must be healthier than I was last year, I must speak better than that last speech, I must dance better than myself every single time. Shit I don't think I'll ever get to retire! And I still wanna write a book! Oh god...that's one more bun on my plate not yet in the oven.
Well, in this case I dare use the cliche - Love is all you need - I think it's right... 'Love it, believe in it, do it, live it, enjoy it' and then you start all over again 'Love it, believe in it, do it, live it, enjoy it'.... it's a viciously addictive cycle. Only TRUE LOVE for what you do will make your buns a purposeful purpose and a meaningful purpose to have in your life. Maybe that's why I keep masochistic-ing myself with more buns, lesser and lesser time and zero neurotransmitters. See what people do for LOVE?